Billy and Jackie's Crazy Pointless Fanfic!
by Sephiroth's girl
Summary: Stupidity reigns supreme in this fanfic previously located on fandomination! Read! It's funny!
1. Chapter 1: Enter the insanity! ºoº

BILLY AND JACKIE'S CRAZY POINTLESS FANFIC!!!  
Copyright 2003  
By: Billy and Jackie! (Duh!!)  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own any of the characters in this ficcy!!!! Wait... Jackie do! *grabs Sephy by arm* HE'S MINE!!! ALL MINE!!!! YOU CAN'T HAVE HIM!!!! (Sephiroth belongs to his creator too ^^U) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Billy: HELLO!!!!!!!!  
  
Jackie: Hiyas all you people who actually like reading pointlessness!!! I'm one of you!!! Has you read "The Senseless Conversation With The Blitz Team!" yet? If not, YOU SHOULD!! Dragon Valor and Maniac are great! Their story is what gived us IN-SPIR-A-TION!!!!  
  
Jackie: So who's our first victim......I mean.......GUEST!! ^^U  
  
Billy: OOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I KNOW I KNOW!!!  
  
Jackie: Who is it child???  
  
Chris *from nowhere*: HIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Billy: *points to Van* THAT GUY!!  
  
Jackie: *points to chair* SIT VAN!!!  
  
Van: help me.... *sits*  
  
Billy: OK!! Van!!! *stares at audience (at least, there was an audience 5 minutes ago...)*: VAN FROM ZOIDS: CHAOTIC CENTURY peoples!!!!!!  
  
Jackie: *is staring at Van intently*  
  
Van: *is very uncomfortable*  
  
Kate *pops out of ceiling*: HELLO!! *jumps down and lands on Van's head*  
  
Jackie: KATE!! *glomps Kate*  
  
Kate: GAH! I has been glompered!!! *glomps Jackie back*  
  
Van: *sneaks away unnoticed*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jackie: Aww dookie... our guest ran away... OH WELL!!! END OF CHAPPIE 1!!!  
  
Billy: WAIT!!! I WANNA SAY SOMETHING!!!!  
  
Jackie: SPEAK CHILD!!  
  
Billy: Anyone who flames our story will suffer a horribly painful death!!!  
  
Jackie: Billy, no death threats!!  
  
Billy: ^^U SORRY!!  
  
Jackie: ^_^ Join us next time on Billy and Jackie's Crazy Pointless Fanfic!!!  
  
Billy: LOTSA FEESH FOR DEEDLE NEXT EPISODE!!!!  
  
Deedle: nyao!! ^-^ neko neko neko!!!! 


	2. Chapter 2: Of donuts and minimarts!

BILLY AND JACKIE'S CRAZY POINTLESS FANFIC!!!  
CHAPTER 2!!!!  
Copyright 2003 by: Billy and Jackie or Jackie and Billy or... I think you get the idea!!  
  
Jackie: *dances* CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 2 CHAPTER 2!!!  
  
Billy: WOW!!! THE SEQUEL!!! AWESOME!!!! Even though sequels aren't that great...  
  
Jackie: BILLY!!! Hush!! You'll jinx us!!!!  
  
Billy: ^^U Sorry!!  
  
~*Disclaimer*~  
(wow, fancier than last time!!)  
All characters in this fanfic are owned by... umm.... their owners!!!!  
YEAH!!!  
Jackie owns Sephy!!!!! (or so she thinks)(Sephy belongs to his owner) ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jackie: LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!! We're here with the second chappie!!! ALL RIGHT!!!  
  
Billy: New guest this time!!! Hopefully, one that's a lot more talkative and comfortable among psychos!!!!  
  
Jackie: Who you callin psycho?! Moi? OoOoOoOoOo wait!! I know who!!! *points at reflection of herself in mirror* YOU!!!  
  
Billy: umm.... yeah.  
  
Liz: HEWO AUDIENCE!!!! *cricket chirps* I'M THE HIGH ONE!!!  
  
Jackie: High One: Short for High Priestess of the Toad-Lizards (key word: High!!)  
  
Liz: Today, our special-ful guest am...........VASH VASH!!! From Trigun!!!  
  
Vash: Hi!! *grins stupidly*  
  
Billy: OOOO!!!! Vash!! Can I see your gun??  
  
Vash: No... too dangerous!!  
  
Billy: PWEASE?? *puppy pout*  
  
Vash: Who knows what destruction you could cause!!!  
  
Billy: *sniff* I'M NOT DESTRUCTIVE!! Those last two towns I stayed in destroyed themselves!!!  
  
Liz: *glompses Vash* VASH!! Can I have Wolfwood's number?? Please???  
  
Vash: *whispers Wolfwood's cell phone # to Liz*  
  
Billy: *takes Vash Vash's gun while he's not looking* YAY!! GUN!! *goes off to knock over a mini-mart*  
  
Dee: Nyao!! ^-^ Jackie-ness? Where am the feesh you promiseded me??  
  
Jackie: Deedle-ness!! *glompses Deedle and gives her feesh*  
  
Dee: YAY!! Feesh for Deedle!!!  
  
Liz: *laughs insanely* VASH!! When did you realize your brother were EEEVIL?!  
  
Vash: *sniff* He always seemed... different from me. I think I realized it but never really realized it.  
  
Liz: *sings San Dimas High School Football Rules*  
  
Billy: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!  
  
Jackie: *glomps Billy* YAY!!  
  
Liz: Vash! Let's see how tall you are... in LIZ MEASUREMENTS! *takes out her measuring tape* hmm... let's see.... aha!!! 49 floogles!!  
  
Jackie: *jumps on top of Vash Vash's head* Boy, you're tall!! I can see my house from here!! *jumps off and sits back in her chair*  
  
Vash: Let's get some donuts!!  
  
everyone: ALL RIGHT!!  
  
Jackie: Vash Vash is buying!!  
  
*everyone runs off screen to find the nearest Dunkin Donuts*  
  
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*20 minutes later*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^  
  
Jackie: *in Ricky Ricardo accent* Lucy! I'm home!  
  
Liz: *is munching contently on a donut*  
  
Dee: *is curled up on Vash Vash's head, munching on a donut*  
  
Vash: *has a donut in his mouth* *is petting Deedle like she's a cat*  
  
Billy: *has a box of donuts on his head and is pulling them out and eating them 1 by 1*  
  
Jackie: LA DEE DA!!!  
  
Dee: You called?  
  
Jackie: o.o No Deedle I were singing!!  
  
Liz: *calls up Wolfwood* *in stalker voice* I know what you did last winter...  
  
Wolfwood (over phone): VASH?! Is that you? I knew I shouldn't have given you my cell #!!!  
  
Liz: *Darth Vader imitation* Nicholas........ I am your...........STALKER!!  
  
Wolfwood: o.0UUU *hangs up*  
  
Liz: Aww dookie.... *snaps finger* OWIE!! GAH! *over dramatizes over finger*  
  
Jackie: o.o You okay??  
  
Liz: I has a boo boo!!! ;.;  
  
Jackie: Awwa!!!! Poor Liz!!!!  
  
Liz: ^_^U It am otay! Just a small boo boo!  
  
Billy: Time to close this chappie up!!! *kisses* MWAH!! BUH BYE NOW!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sean: I'm gonna take over this ending... and.......umm.... what was it Billy?  
  
Billy: Close it!!  
  
Sean: Oh yeah! That's it! ^^U This was brought to you by CNN.... CNN........  
  
Billy: Sean??  
  
Sean: CNN.............  
  
Billy: Ok... I guess I'll close it since my best friend over here can't...  
  
Sean: CNN.............  
  
Billy: Thank you for joining us! We hope to see you next chapter!! No flaming, just reviews!! We like reviews!! We don't like flames!!  
  
Jackie: Fire!!!!! *takes out a marshmallow on a stick*  
  
Billy: umm.... k..... BYE!!! ^_^ 


	3. Chapter 3: Pure insanity!

BILLY AND JACKIE'S CRAZY POINTLESS FANFIC!!!  
  
CHAPTER 3!!!!  
  
Copyright 2003  
  
by: the psycho Shirley-ites, Jackie and Billy  
  
Jackie: HA!!!! My name was first this time in the by: part!!!!!!  
  
Billy: *grumbles*  
  
Jackie: We've written 3 chapters!!!!!! WHOO!!! GO US!!!  
  
Billy: *falls asleep*  
  
Jackie: Heyas Necromancer01!! Thankies for your review!! We feels loved now!! Thankies again!! We shall try to keeps interesting!! Ummm.... Disclaimer thingy time!!!  
  
~*Disclaimer*~  
  
We own every single one of these characters! YEAH!!  
  
(j/k! Each of them belongs to their creators and/or owners)  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~*~*~  
  
Jackie: *pokes Billy* WAKE UP LITTLE MONKEE!!!  
  
Billy: *goes under blanket*  
  
Jackie: Grrr...... *shakes Billy by the shoulders* WAKE UP!!!!!  
  
Billy: hn.... mmm..... huh? What'd I miss?  
  
Jackie: Who's our next guest?? Billy?  
  
Billy: Shippo-chan!! Shippo-chan!!  
  
Jackie: *makes Shippo-chan appear magically in the guest chair*  
  
Shippo-chan: Where am I?? Where's Kagome??  
  
Jackie: *makes Kagome appear magically in the guest chair next to Shippo- chan*  
  
Kagome: Where am I?  
  
Shippo-chan: Kagome!! *jumps to Kagome*  
  
Kagome: Shippo-chan! *hugs Shippo-chan*  
  
Jackie: mmmm..... *munches on chicken cutlets* chicken........  
  
Billy: OOOO!!! Shippo-chan!! I haves a question!!!  
  
Shippo-chan: umm... okay...  
  
Billy: When you run away from a fight, could I join you and together we'll run up a tree and buy acorns from a squirrel?  
  
Shippo-chan: umm... sure.... HEY WAIT!! I don't always run away from a fight!!  
  
Kagome: You still haven't answered my question!! Where are we??  
  
Jackie: You're on our talk show!! Our lovely audience.... *points to empty chairs and an old janitor with a broom*... is watching you!!  
  
Kagome: *decides Jackie is out of her mind*  
  
Shippo-chan and Billy: *running around in the audience throwing things at each other*  
  
Billy: *runs out exit door*  
  
Shippo-chan: NOW WHO'S RUNNING AWAY?!  
  
Billy: *comes back with a chainsaw*  
  
Shippo-chan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs for dear life*  
  
Billy: YOU ARE!!  
  
Jackie: *stands on her head* Kagome is a moogle!! Kagome is a moogle!!  
  
Kagome: I am not!! Wait, moogle?? o.o Someone's been playing too much FF7...  
  
Jackie: ^^ uh huh!!  
  
Shippo-chan: *jumps on top of Kagome's head*  
  
Billy: GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE RACCOON!!! I'M GONNA SLICE YOU LIKE BREAD!!! *tries to hit Shippo-chan with chain saw and almost chops off Kagome's head*  
  
Jackie: I hear the ice cream truck!!!! *runs outside and chases a little girl on a bicycle* ICE CREAM!!!  
  
little girl: GET HER AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!  
  
Jackie: I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!! *screams a lot*  
  
Jackie: *Darth Vader-ish* Luke... join me... on the dark side.... I will give you an unlimited supply of candy if you do.....  
  
Jackie: *Luke-ish* hmm..... the safety of the universe......or unlimited candy..... universe.......candy..........universe..........candy..............I'LL TAKE THE CANDY!!!  
  
little girl: *takes out cell phone and calls the crazy house*  
  
crazy house peoples: Hiyas!! We take you to place with bouncy walls now!!!  
  
Jackie: YEEHAW!!!!  
  
*Jackie is carted off to the crazy house*  
  
Kagome: o.o *is watching all this craziness*  
  
Billy and Shippo-chan: *sitting in their seats, aiming bazookas at each other*  
  
Billy: I guess I gotta host the show since Jackie got to go to Bouncy-Walls- Land...  
  
Kagome: We could go get her out of there and then you could get back to fighting with Shippo-chan...  
  
Shippo-chan: *is ready to fire his bazooka*  
  
Billy: *pulls out stun gun and stuns Shippo-chan with it*  
  
Shippo-chan: bzzzzz......bzzzzzzt.......bzzzzzzzzzt......*is spazzing on floor*  
  
Billy: *laughing maniacally*  
  
Liz: Time to bust Jackie out of the cra-zee house!!!!  
  
everyone that's not stunned or in the crazy house or not there: WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!  
  
Liz: Well... my mommy said I came from the hopsicle..... I don't believe her though!! ^_^ I came from the stork!!!  
  
everyone: o.oU  
  
Liz: oooooook....... TIME TO BUST HER OUT NOW!!!  
  
*everyone runs to the cra-zee house*  
  
Jackie: *is in padded room bouncing* WHEE!!!  
  
Guard 1: Is she still....  
  
Guard 2: Yep...  
  
Guard 1: wow....  
  
Guard 2: I bet you $20 she could go for hours...  
  
Guard 1: I bet you $20 she could go for 2 days....  
  
Liz + Kagome: *are disguised as nurses* Time to take this one to cra-zee people happy hour!! You wanna come too? It's in the cafeteria!!  
  
guards: Aww... but we were having fun watching her!!  
  
Kagome: Well... she has to go!  
  
Jackie: I like-y the bounce-y-y-y!!!!!!  
  
Guards: *go off to crazy people happy hour*  
  
Liz: Hi Jackie-ness!! We has come to set you free!!  
  
Jackie: ooooo free like a waffle??  
  
Liz: Uh huh! ^_^ *Opens door*  
  
Jackie: YAY!! I'S FREE!!!!  
  
Liz: o.o  
  
Jackie: *smacks into wall* owie!  
  
Kagome: o.oU  
  
Jackie: *runs down hallway and trips over a medicine cart* owie!  
  
Billy: oooooooook.....  
  
Jackie: *jumps out window* WHEE!!!  
  
Liz and Billy: o.o  
  
Billy: At least she's enjoying herself...  
  
Jackie: *smacks into ground* OWIE!!  
  
Kagome: That must hurt...  
  
Jackie: *runs toward studio* YEEHAW!!  
  
Liz: I think she's gonna make it!!  
  
Jackie: *gets hit by a car* OWIE!!  
  
Liz: Guess not.... wait!!  
  
Billy: *runs ahead of Jackie and sits in the host chair*  
  
Jackie: *gets to studio and bonks Billy on the head to get him out of her seat* I'M THE HOST HERE!!!  
  
Billy: *shoots her with bazooka*  
  
Jackie: HA HA HA!!!! That won't work!! I've got my moon shield on!!!  
  
Billy: OH COME ON!!  
  
Jackie: *takes off straight jacket and sits down calmly* Did I miss anything??  
  
Kagome: *is scared out of her wits*  
  
Billy: You missed me beating the crud out of Shippo-chan!!  
  
Shippo-chan: *is lying on floor stunned*  
  
Billy: Is he ever gonna get up??  
  
Liz: Heyas!!! I have come following Jackie!!! Back from the cra-zee house!!  
  
Jackie: *scratches head* My head itches...  
  
Liz: CALL THE ARMY! CALL THE NAVY! CALL A DOCTOR! PASS THE GRAVY!  
  
Jackie: I think I have fleas!!!  
  
Liz: *gets a magnifying glass* OOOOO you gots fleas alright.... lemme count how many.... 3.....2.........7.........4........99............6...........89...........34 ...............1!! You gots 1 flea!!! His name am Myoga!!!  
  
Jackie: Get 'im off me!!! Get 'im off me!!! *scratches insanely at her scalp*  
  
Myoga: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!! *falls off Jackie's head and lands on the still unconscious Shippo-chan*  
  
Shippo-chan: *is still being unconscious*  
  
Kagome: *grabs Shippo-chan and makes a break for it*  
  
Jackie: SHE'S HEADED FOR THE WELL!!! STOP HER, MY NINJAS!!  
  
*grapenuts disguised as ninjas jump out of nowhere and knock Kagome unconscious and drag her back to the studio*  
  
Jackie: Thank you ninjas!! *feeds ninja-grapenuts mice*  
  
Liz: WELL THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR TOO-DAY!!! JOIN US NEXT EPPY- SODE!!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jackie: I must apologize to Necromancer01!! I sorry!!! I dids not introduce anymore of my friends in this chappie... I'll try to next chappie! That's right!! THERE WILL BE A NEXT CHAPPIE!!  
  
Liz: Flames am EEVIL! Don't make Jackie-ness cry or we'll make sure you do!  
  
Jackie: You tell 'em High One!!!  
  
Billy: Doesn't anybodee love meeeeeeeeeeeeee????????  
  
Jackie: Maybe they will next chappie!!  
  
Billy: ;.;  
  
Jackie + Liz: Awwa!! We loves you!! *huggleses Billy*  
  
Billy: YAY!!!!!!  
  
Jackie: Don't forget about us!! Make sure you read next chappie!! It's 11:30!! Gotta sign off! We gonna go watch .hack//sign at 12!! Gotta get ready for it!! *gets out poppy-corn* Loves you all!! Bye Bye!! Ja matte ne tomodachi!!! 


	4. Chapter 4: Field trip! Whoot!

BILLY AND JACKIE'S CRAZY POINTLESS FANFIC!!! CHAPTER 4!!!! Copyright 2003  
  
by: two people who have little time on their hands, a.k.a. Jackie and Billy!!  
  
Jackie: WE'RE BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!  
  
Billy: I like that moooovie!! It haves dinosaurs!!  
  
Jackie: ^^ YUP! *dances*  
  
Markie: Hiyas!!! I am the female version of Miroku!! *pulls Miroku up next to her* See???  
  
Jackie: ^^U I sorry this took so long.... It was originally supposed to be the party chapter but that was taking too long and confuzzling me.... SOOOO we're going to have another not normal episode of "Billy and Jackie's Crazy Pointless Fanfic!!!" here for you!!!  
  
Liz: YAAAAAAAY!! NOT NORMAL!!!!  
  
Jackie: I'm just making this up as I go along...  
  
Dee: Yeehaw!! ^-^^-^ Neko neko neko neko neko..... *continues saying neko*  
  
Jackie: o.o  
  
Sephiroth: *walks over and sits next to Jackie* What's up with her?  
  
Jackie: She's Dee, remember?  
  
Sephiroth: hmm.... you're right.  
  
Dee: *is still saying neko*  
  
Billy: ^O^ I'm back from playing the Inu Yasha PS1 game!!!  
  
Jackie: Took you long enough!! ^_^  
  
Liz: *ka-whizzer noise*  
  
Dee: XD *is going into hysterics*  
  
Jackie: THANK GOD!! *is rejoicing* She stopped saying neko!!  
  
Billy: ¬.¬ *whispers to Jackie* What are we going to do this chapter?  
  
Jackie: *whispers back* I have no idea...  
  
Liz: I KNOW WHAT WE CAN DO!!  
  
Jackie + Billy: o.0U How'd you hear us?!  
  
Liz: *points to her elf ears* Elves have good hearing! ^o^  
  
Jackie: ^^U okies...  
  
Billy: Sooooooooooo......... Liz! What's your idea?  
  
Liz: We should go on a field trip!  
  
Jackie: Yeah!! I know just the place too!! ^_^  
  
*a few hours later*  
  
Jackie: We're here!!!  
  
Kate: Where exactly is HERE?  
  
Jackie: ^_^ Here is here!! Dummy!!  
  
Kate: -.-U  
  
Jackie: We're in China! *dances*  
  
Billy: YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!  
  
Liz: *pushes Billy into the Jusenkyo*  
  
Billy (girl): What'd you do that for???? *realizes he's a girl* NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! I DON'T WANNA BE LIKE RANMA!!!!  
  
Jackie: *drags Billy to a sink and sticks his hand in hot water, then cold, then hot, then cold, etc.* This is fun!!! ^O^  
  
Sephiroth: ¬.¬ *uses bishie powers to make Jackie stop torturing Billy*  
  
Billy: Thankies Sephy!!! As for you... *stares at Jackie*  
  
Jackie: *runs behind Sephy*  
  
Billy: *takes out piko piko mallet*  
  
Kate: AHA!! So that's where it went!! *grabs piko piko mallet from Billy*  
  
Billy: ;.;  
  
Kate: *sigh* Okies... *hands piko piko mallet to Billy*  
  
Billy: YAY!!!! *uses power of the Sun to blind Sephy momentarily so that he is off guard* NOW FOR YOU!!! *thwacks Jackie repeatedly with piko piko mallet*  
  
Jackie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! OWIEEEEEE!!!!! THE PAIN!!!!!  
  
Billy: HA HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
Dee: *throws cold water on Billy* Stop inflicting pain on Jackie-ness!!!  
  
Billy (girl): Deedle!! I thought you was on my side!! ;.;  
  
Jackie: Thanks Dee!! *throws Billy into the spring of drowned boy*  
  
Billy: YAY!!! I'M NORMAL AGAIN!! Or as close to normal as I can possibly be...  
  
Jackie: *stomps off to go destroy some random city because her chats aren't working*  
  
Billy: o.oU *tries to stop Jackie but gets held back by Sephy*  
  
Sephy: I don't think you want to go after her. Not even I would go after her when she's like this...  
  
Dee: o.o Jackie's scary when she's mad...  
  
Farrah: Where am I??  
  
Billy: Farrah!! *glomps Farrah*  
  
Farrah: ^^U I was at home and Jackie came over and dragged me here, saying something like, "Host the stupid show." and then she stomped off in the direction of Las Vegas...  
  
Billy: YAY!! GO JACKIE!! DESTROY THOSE STUPID CASINOS!!  
  
Liz: *pulls up 3 couches and a tv from nowhere* Let's watch the news! Jackie should be on soon if I think she did what I think she did... wait... i is confuzzled...  
  
Kate: *sits on a couch* Hmm... this'll be interesting...  
  
Sephy: *sits on another couch* This should prove most enjoyable.  
  
Liz: *pulls popcorn out of nowhere* WHO WANTS SOME?? ^o^  
  
Billy: ME ME ME ME ME!!! *sits down next to Liz and eats popcorn*  
  
Chris: ME TOO! *sits on Billy's lap and eats popcorn*  
  
Billy: AAAAHH!!! I IS BEING SQUASHERED BY YOUR AWESOME WEIGHT!!!  
  
Dee: o.o *sits down on the other side of Liz and eats popcorn*  
  
Farrah: o.o This'll be fun!  
  
Billy: GET OFF OF ME!!!! *thwacks Chris with piko piko mallet*  
  
Chris: *is flying away* LOOKS LIKE TEAM ROCKET'S BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!! *ding!*  
  
TV Announcer: Our top story today, Las Vegas was destroyed by a teenage girl who was screaming at the top of her lungs about chatrooms and little brothers.  
  
*footage shows Jackie destroying buildings with her laser vision*  
  
Jackie (in footage): BILLY!!!!! I'LL GET YOU!!!!!!!!!!! YOU KILLED MY CHATROOM PRIVELEGES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Farrah: Wow! It's true what they say! TV does make you look bigger!  
  
Kate: I thinks you should hide somewhere deep within the earth, that way she will not destroy you! ^_^  
  
Billy: o.0UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU *tunnels to the center of the earth* I think this is deep enough... *makes a place for himself to live and then furnishes it with...umm...his furnishing vision! ^^U* Cover the hole!!  
  
everyone else: *covers the hole*  
  
Dee: Where's Billy?  
  
Kate: I don't know... *looks in a tree* Billy?  
  
Liz: Where could he have gone?? *tries to think and then smoke comes out of ears*  
  
Farrah: *tries to think and the mouse on the wheel passes out*  
  
Sephy: o.oU  
  
Jackie: *appears out of THE SKY for she CAN FLY* WHERE IS THE LITTLE BUG?? T.T++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Farrah, Liz, Dee, and Kate: We has no clue! ^_^  
  
Sephy: o.o  
  
Markie: *walks out from behind a tree* Hiyas!  
  
Jackie: must...........vent...........more................anger...................*d estroys tree from which Markie came out behind*  
  
Markie: ^^U okies! I has come to take you all back to AMERICA!  
  
everyone: aww nutbunnies...  
  
Dee: hee hee!!! Male rabbits!!  
  
Jackie: XDXDXD  
  
Liz: That's better!  
  
*everyone goes back to America*  
  
*meanwhile... in the center of the earth...*  
  
Billy: ^^U I wonder where everyone went?  
  
Chris: *crashes through the hole*  
  
Billy: o.o I do NOT want him as company for the rest of my life!!!!! *runs away*  
  
*in America...*  
  
Jackie: hmm... I'm still bored....  
  
Dee: Oh well...  
  
Liz: We must close this boring chapter!  
  
Billy: *comes through the floor*  
  
Jackie: T.T+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ + must..........destroy.............the............small..........one.........  
  
Billy: o.0UUU *goes back in the hole*  
  
Jackie: *chases after Billy the mole*  
  
Farrah: umm... okies..... guess we should close this chapter, huh?  
  
Markie: *is off backstage with Miroku*  
  
Chris: *pops out of hole*  
  
Kate: YAY!! Whack-a-mole!! *hits Chris*  
  
Chris: *is unconscious*  
  
Dee: o.o CLOSING CHAPPIE..................................................................... .NOW!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Billy: *is running* Just *huff* wanna tell you all, never make *wheeze* Jackie mad or this might happen to you!!  
  
Jackie: GET BACK HERE AND FACE ME LIKE THE NON-HUMAN YOU ARE!!!  
  
Billy: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! MUST PUT ON SUN SHIELD!!! *puts on Sun shield*  
  
*back in the studio*  
  
Dee: *is poking Chris*  
  
Chris: *is being unconscious*  
  
Kate: ^^U oopsies...  
  
Markie: *is still backstage with Miroku*  
  
Farrah: Ok! Be sure to send the psycho some suggestions for the next chapter! This chapter took the longest to write!  
  
Liz: That's because August is Jackie's craziest month of the year! What with birthday par-tees and Anime Fests...  
  
Kate: ;.; I isn't going to Anime Fest....  
  
Dee: *pats Kate on head* Tis okie little Kate-ness...  
  
Farrah: Anyways... go read "A VERY IMPORTANT LITTLE NOTE" for more information! Must flee now!  
  
all: Ja matte ne tomodachi! ^_~ 


	5. Chapter 5 part 1: Kenshin! Yugi! JOY!

BILLY AND JACKIE'S CRAZY POINTLESS FANFIC!!! CHAPTER 5!!! Copyright 2003  
  
by: Jackie! *Billy thwacks Jackie* AND ME!!!!! T.T++  
  
Jackie: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!.......ahem....  
  
Billy: O_______________________________________O  
  
Dee: FEED ME TACOS!  
  
Liz: Gladly! *gives Dee tacos*  
  
Dee: YEEHAW!!!!!  
  
Cloud: *takes Dee's tacos*  
  
Dee: ;.;  
  
Jackie: Cloud, what's wrong with you? First my raisins, and now Dee's tacos?  
  
Cloud: GET YOUR OWN!! KUKUKUKUKUKU!!!1  
  
Liz: hee hee, 1  
  
Jackie: T.T+++++++ *bites Cloud*  
  
Cloud: AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! GET 'ER OFF ME!!!! *shakes arm wildly*  
  
Dee: O______O *is watching*  
  
Sephiroth: ^_^ Now this is what I call entertainment!  
  
Billy: *is still mad at Jackie for last chapter* I'LL HELP YOU CLOUD!!! *bites Jackie*  
  
Cloud: O.O THAT'S NOT HELPING!!! NOW I HAVE TWO ON MY ARM!!!  
  
Jackie: *lets go and goes flying with Billy attached to her leg*  
  
Sephiroth: O_O IPPIN!!! *goes to save Jackie*  
  
Aeris: *walks out and sees Billy flying in the air* Billy!!! *uses magical Ancient (Cetra) power to save Billy*  
  
Jackie: *is caught by Sephy*  
  
Billy: *is slowly put on the ground by powers*  
  
Jackie and Sephy: *float to ground*  
  
Jackie: THANKIES SEPHY! *kissers Sephy on (facial) cheek*  
  
Billy: THANKIES AERIS!! *hugses Aeris*  
  
Sephiroth: You're welcome, ippin.  
  
Aeris: ^_^ You're welcome Billy!  
  
Jackie: T.T+++ *tackles Cloud* GIVE BACK THE TACOS!!!  
  
Dee: ...and the raisins!  
  
Jackie: YEAH! THOSE TOO!  
  
Kate: *turns into Kitty-demon form* GWAHAHAHAHA! *bites Cloud*  
  
Billy: MWAHAHAHA!! We shall start the chapter! *turns into Itty Bitty Kitty*  
  
DISCLAIMER!!!!!! FWAAAAAAH!!!!!  
  
Sephiroth: *looks up at Disclaimer sign* ^^U I'm saying the disclaimer today! We own no characters except ourselves! Except for me of course! *is reading cards* I.. am.. owned by Jackie?  
  
*rabid Squaresoft people attack Jackie*  
  
Sephiroth: O.OU ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jackie: *is beaten unconscious*  
  
Billy: YAAAAAAAY!!  
  
Sephiroth: *pokes Jackie* Ippin? Are you ok?  
  
Jackie: *is dead*  
  
Sephiroth: o.0UUUUU *gives Jackie a Phoenix Down and an Elixir*  
  
Jackie: I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!  
  
Kenshin: That you do.  
  
Billy: Kenshin!  
  
Jackie: Kenshin! *glomps Kenshin*  
  
Liz: Kenshin!! *crawls into Kenshin's lower robes and plays a boombox*  
  
(A/N: ^^U Don't ask... It was something we started in a chatty)  
  
Dee: ^^U *pulls Liz out of Kenshin's robes* I'S A MAGICIAN!  
  
Liz: I'S A RABBIT!!!!!!  
  
Kenshin: ^^U I'm guessing my robes are the hat, that they are.  
  
Billy: *takes Kenshin's sword* YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! *runs off to destroy what's left of Las Vegas*  
  
Kenshin: o.0UUU That's not good, that it's not. *runs after Billy*  
  
Billy: CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Kenshin: *is running after Billy*  
  
Jackie: *screams to Inu* POTATO CHIP!!!  
  
Inu Yasha: WHERE?!?!?! O.O  
  
Jackie: ô.oU  
  
Inu Yasha: I mean... *cough cough*  
  
Kenshin: *is still chasing Billy*  
  
Billy: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE, COPPERS!!!!!  
  
Dee: must.........glomp!!!!!! *glomps Billy*  
  
Billy: AAAAAAAAAHH!!!! *falls*  
  
Kenshin: *can't stop and trips over Billy and Dee* Ow!  
  
Liz: Kenshin, dids you hurts yourself?  
  
Kenshin: No, I did not hurt myself, that I did not. ^_^  
  
Dee: *is clinging to Billy like a potato chip*  
  
Inu Yasha: O________O  
  
Liz: *grabs Kenshin's sword from Billy* YEEHAW! *gives it back to Kenshin*  
  
Billy: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! ;.;  
  
Kate: *yawns* *turns un-kitty demon* *glomps Kenshin* MWAHA!!  
  
Kenshin: ^^U  
  
Liz: *crawls back into Kenshin's lower robes and continues playing her boombox*  
  
Kate: o.o  
  
Billy: MOO!!!  
  
(A/N: This is getting a little TOO crazy, even for me! ^^UU)  
  
Billy: OK! WE IS GOING TO HAS A VERY SPECIALFUL GUEST!  
  
Jackie: OO!! Who am it, little one??  
  
Liz: O.O Tells!!  
  
Billy: Okee! Our specialful guest shall be.....  
  
Yugi: *walks in*  
  
Billy: YUGI!!  
  
Liz: o.o..... YU-CHAN!!!! *tackles and glomps Yugi*  
  
Yugi: Hi Bil- *is tackled and glomped by Liz* Oof!  
  
Jackie: ^-^  
  
Yugi: Li-chan! What are you doing here?  
  
Liz: I'm a part time host for our talk show! Right audience?!  
  
Audience: *cricket chirps*  
  
Liz: Right.  
  
Jackie: *decides to be semi-proper for once in her life* Hello Yugi! Welcome to the show!  
  
Yugi: Hello Jackie. Thank you for inviting me. ^_^  
  
Liz: *winks at Yugi* If this weren't G rated.....  
  
Jackie: ¬.¬ *evil glare at the High One*  
  
Liz: .....we'd be watching PG-13 movies on the TV. ^^U *puts a Disney movie in a TV*  
  
Jackie: ^_^ good High One. *pats High One on head*  
  
Liz: ^^U I think I just saved my.... buttocks there.  
  
Yugi: That you did Li-chan.  
  
Jackie: Hee hee!! Yugi-ness! You soundered like Kenshin-ness there!  
  
Yugi: -^^- I'm sorry!  
  
Jackie: na? Tis nothing to be sorr-ee aboot, Yugi-ness!  
  
Yugi: -^^- Why thank you!  
  
Billy: Yugi! Do you wanna go get some acorns and nuts from the squirrel (unlike Shippo)?  
  
Yugi: .... ^^U I'm sorry Billy, I don't like heights.  
  
Billy: aww dookie...  
  
Dee: I'll go with you Billy-chan! ^O^  
  
Billy: YAAAY!  
  
Billy + Dee: *run off to the tree*  
  
Yugi: ^^U  
  
Liz: *sneaks up behind Yugi* TACKLE ATTACK! *glomps*  
  
Jackie: hee hee! I'm Dr. Seuss! Rhyming!  
  
Kate: o.o 


	6. Chapter 5 part 2: power outage! EEP!

Liz: XD  
  
Yugi: Ooof! Well, when am I going to get asked questions like all of the other guests?  
  
Liz: You watch our show?!  
  
Yugi: Yeah. Me and Necromancer01!  
  
Jackie: Okee... FIRST QUESTION YUGI-NESS!!!  
  
Billy: Yugi, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood??? O_O  
  
Yugi: .....um....A lot? ^_^U  
  
Billy: ...That wasn't the answer I was looking for, but that's OK!!!  
  
Yugi: ^_^UUU Well.... I hope it helps.  
  
Liz: Like twitterpaition season in December?  
  
Yugi: That's an..... odd example.  
  
Jackie: *nods* Uh huh!  
  
Liz: So... Yugi.... are you dating anyone?  
  
Yugi: I'm engaged!!  
  
Rabid fangirls: KILL!! KILL!!  
  
Jackie: ¬.¬ Who let them in here?! *obliterates fangirls*  
  
Liz: *sees open door* OO! A squirrel!  
  
Yugi: That's a bird. ^^U  
  
Jackie: Weeeeell.... I already knew the engagement part.... now tell our fans...*points to empty audience*...WHO it is you're engaged to!  
  
Yugi: -^_^- Liz! *points to Liz*  
  
Liz: I SWEAR I DIDN'T TOUCH IT!! ... wait.. I mean... Yes! I am engaged to Yugi!  
  
Jackie: XD/^o^  
  
Liz: ^^UUU  
  
Yugi: Any other questions? ^_^  
  
Jackie: *mumbles* If our readers would send us questions there would be....  
  
Dee: *takes out a camera* SMILE AND KISS, HAPPY COUPLE!!!  
  
Kate: What about swiss cheese?  
  
Liz: *kisses Yugi* -^_^-  
  
Yugi: -^_^-  
  
Dee: AWWA!!!! *takeses pic-a-ture*  
  
Liz: I doesn't like swiss cheese, it tastes yucky! XP  
  
Jackie: Uh huh!  
  
Liz: *in narrator voice* To all those who like Swiss Cheese, we're sorry, we just find it distasteful! It am nice cheese to look at though!  
  
Yugi: *laughs* Liz!  
  
Liz: I can make ANYONE laugh! *evil laugh* ...even myself!  
  
*lights go out*  
  
everyone: *screamses*  
  
Liz: EEEEEEP! *is scared* *clings to Yugi*  
  
Yugi: Liz... it's just a power outage!  
  
Liz: Says you!  
  
Jackie: ^^U Actually, I think I forgot to pay my electric bill...  
  
Yugi: Do I have to pay it with my dueling earnings again?  
  
Liz, Kate, and Dee: keyword: again  
  
Liz, Kate, and Dee: o.oU  
  
Liz: EEEEEK!!  
  
Kate: NOOOO!!  
  
Dee: EEEEEP!  
  
Liz, Kate, and Dee: Phew!  
  
Jackie: XD/o.o  
  
Liz: *cough* Ahem...  
  
Billy: This is the perfect time to try out my new invention!  
  
Liz: *hides behind Dee* Not on me again!!  
  
Billy: ^^U No worries!  
  
Dee: What am your new invention, Billy-ness?  
  
Billy: It's the..................................SOLAR POWERED FLASHLIGHT!!! *turns on flashlight*  
  
SPFL: *clickity clickity*  
  
Billy: Why won't it turn on?!  
  
Sephiroth: hmm...I don't know. Maybe because it's....SOLAR POWERED?!  
  
Liz: ...No sun...it's night...  
  
Yugi: Solar powered? You need light to create light?  
  
Billy: ^_^ *nods* Uh huh! That's what's so great about it! It's useless!  
  
Aeris: *tries to pat Billy on back but can't see and ends up hitting Dee in the face*  
  
Dee: ;.;  
  
Aeris: o.o I'm sorry!  
  
Dee: Tis okee ^^U  
  
Jackie: *opens door and walks out*  
  
everyone else: *doesn't notice*  
  
Liz: I is ascared of the dark...  
  
Yugi: ...it's dark now.  
  
Liz: It is?!  
  
Billy: *still trying to get the SPFL to work*  
  
Kate: *yawns* I is tired.  
  
Dee: I is Dee! Nice to meet you! ^______^  
  
*lights come on*  
  
Liz: o.o *pupils dilate* MY EYES!!! *shuts eyes tightly*  
  
Jackie: *returns in a security cart* ^_____^ I PAID THE BILL!!!!!  
  
Liz: WHOO HOO!!  
  
Yugi: What an odd interview...  
  
security guards: *are chasing Jackie* COME BACK HERE!!!!!  
  
Jackie: o.oU Time to close!!!!! *drives off*  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jackie: *drives through the high school football field*  
  
security guards: GET BACK HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Billy: *jumps into security cart with Jackie* SILLY SECURITY GUARDS! TRIX ARE FOR KIDS!!  
  
Dee: ^_____^ Join us next time on Billy and Jackie's Crazy Pointless Fanfic!!!  
  
Liz: Review... or you'll feel great pain in places I'm not allowed to mention due to G ratings!  
  
Jackie: IT WOULD HELP A LOT IF YOU SENT US QUESTIONS AND IDEAS!!  
  
Billy: YEAH!!! R&R!!!! ^O^  
  
Kate: ...suggestions are welcome...  
  
Liz: And don't forget kiddies, If the shoe fits.... make sure it's not ugly.  
  
everyone: Ja matte ne tomodachi! ^_~ 


End file.
